Mental Health Awareness: What I Wish You Understood About Depression

“Monsters don’t sleep under your bed… they sleep inside your head” – Unknown

Reality, Assumptions & the Lens We View Life Through

It’s wild how differently people can react to the same situation. What makes one person feel abandoned might barely register for another. Is it how we were raised? Our trauma? Our inner dialogue? Our fears?

The truth is – reality is perspective. And when you’re living with depression, that perspective can become warped, painful, and isolating in ways that even you struggle to understand.

The Night Everything Spilled Over

A few years ago, I posted something deeply personal on Facebook, something raw and vulnerable, about how depressed I was and how people could be more supportive.

Here’s the context:

I had just fought with a close friend (I seemed to be fighting with everyone lately).
My beloved dog Loki had been vomiting for hours.
I hadn’t slept properly in four nights.
I was withdrawing from antidepressants and experiencing painful brain zaps.
I genuinely felt like I was losing my mind.

At my limit, I went outside, sat on a bench in the dark, cried, and looked up at the stars. I wanted someone, anyone, to be there. To hold my hand. To just stay. Not fix me. Not give advice. Just be there.

In a moment of desperation, I wrote a journal entry. Then I did something many would call brave, or foolish: I shared it publicly.

The Post I Wrote

“When you’re depressed and all you can think about is how much you want to die, every lonely hour feels like an eternity…

All you want is someone to sit with you. To say the words: I won’t leave your side, even when you say you’re fine. Even when you push me away. I’ll stay, because I believe in you. Because I love you. Because I see your light, even when you don’t.”

I finished the post by thanking two people, who had shown up for me every single day, even when they weren’t physically by my side. Their love mattered. Their messages mattered. They reminded me I wasn’t completely alone.

The Aftermath: Misunderstanding, Judgement, and Grief

I woke the next morning mortified. Logged onto Facebook to delete it… but people had already responded.

Some saw it as attention-seeking.
Some thought I was attacking them for not being “that friend.”
Some were angry I hadn’t included their names.
Others unfriended me.
A few reached out with love and support.

Even my dad confronted me with frustration and anger. And although I didn’t want to hear it at the time, that conversation opened my eyes to something bigger:

There’s a massive gap in understanding around depression.
And unfortunately, when people don’t understand something, they often judge it.

I was heartbroken. Not just by their lack of empathy, but by the realization that many of the people closest to me saw themselves in my words, instead of seeing me.

They focused on what the post said about them, not what it revealed about how much pain I was in.

What I’ve Learned Since Then

People who haven’t experienced depression cannot fully grasp its depth. It’s like explaining color to someone who’s only seen in black and white.

Even some therapists made me feel more alone than seen.

So here’s my ask:
Before judging someone for how they express their pain – pause.
Ask: “What must they be feeling to post something like this?”
Don’t assume.
Don’t correct.
Don’t take it personally.

Just listen. Just stay. Just be kind.

How to Truly Help Someone With Depression

Want to support someone you care about who is struggling? Here’s how:

Educate yourself about depression.
Avoid saying things like:
- “You just need fresh air.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “You have so much to be grateful for.”
Instead, say:
- “I’m here.”
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- “You matter to me, even when you don’t feel like you do.”

Helpful Resources

If you’ve ever felt judged for how you express your mental health struggles, please know you’re not alone.
And if you’re the friend on the other side, try asking yourself this: What would it feel like to live in a mind that’s turned against you?

Be patient. Be present. Be human.
Sometimes that’s the only lifeline someone needs.