Making Decisions When You Feel Stuck

Life is one big choose-your-own-adventure story. Every day, from the second we open our eyes, we’re faced with a million decisions from “What should I wear today?” to “Should I move countries?” or “Is it time to quit my job and open that coffee shop/bookstore/llama sanctuary?”

And if you’re anything like me, the pressure to make the right decision can be completely paralysing. I’ll sit in a loop of overthinking and second-guessing until my brain feels like it’s buffering. Endlessly.

So when I found myself spiraling yet again about making a big decision, I did what I always do: I turned to someone I admire. And in this case, that someone was Torsten Lueddecke – a man who seems to live life with such joy and authenticity that just being around him feels like therapy via osmosis.

After listening to me moan (again), Torsten offered me this gem:

“It is not about making a good or bad decision. It is also not about making the right decision. We never know how our lives would have turned out if we had made a different decision. It simply makes it the decision you need to take at that very moment to be congruent with who you are and what you want in life.” – Torsten Luedeccke

Isn’t that just liberating?

The paralysis comes from wanting to make the right decision. But when you realise that there really is no right or wrong – just choices that feel more or less aligned with who you are at a particular moment – the pressure lifts. Decisions become lighter. Even fun. And we’re allowed to mess up, course-correct, or change our minds completely. The fun never stops.

Inspired by that chat, I created a little set of prompts to help myself, and maybe you, make better, braver, more aligned choices:

If you’re trying to make a decision:

What are the pros and cons of each option?
Which option fills me with a sense of excitement or anticipation?
(Remember: sometimes anxiety and excitement feel very similar. Feel into it.)
Which choice could lead to an adventure, a story, or a beautiful detour?

If you’ve already made a decision, but you’re doubting yourself:

Is this taking me closer to the life I want?
Will this hurt the people I love?
Deep down, do I feel at peace about this choice?
Does this benefit my future self in some way?
Is this choice congruent with who I truly am?

Now the final judgement. The coin clip. It’s a cliche but it works.
Flip a coin on your decision. Sometimes you figure out exactly what you want when the choice is briefly out of your control.

Let me know if this helps!

If you need extra help, here are some great articles to read through.