Living with Anxiety: What Helped Me Find Peace

Anxiety Isn’t Always Obvious

For years, anxiety was the background noise of my life. Sometimes loud and terrifying, sometimes just a low hum beneath everything I did. From the outside, I looked fine. Smiling, functional, even fun. But on the inside? There were days I was barely holding it together.

Overthinking every conversation, worrying about everyone else’s opinion, fearing the worst even when things were okay. I didn’t feel safe in my own mind. But over time, through trial and (so much) error, I found ways to breathe again.

Some of the things that helped me:

Chat to a Friend

There is so much power in speaking fears out loud. I used to keep everything bottled up, hoping I’d work it out myself. Spoiler alert: I never did. The second I started sharing even tiny bits of what I was feeling, the grip of anxiety loosened. Talking made me feel less alone. It also gave my thoughts a reality check.

Schedule a Worry Hour

Yes, really. Give yourself permission to worry—but only during a set time. I had a “worry journal” where I could offload everything looping in my head. Then I’d come back later to decide if anything needed action. Most of it? Just needed release.

Create a Happy Hour

Balance your worry hour with a happy one. I started writing down 3 good things every evening: a warm coffee, a kind message, a moment of calm. At first it felt silly. But slowly, it rewired the way I saw my day. I also kept notes from friends and strangers who said kind things—and reread them on rough days.

Be Present (Easier Said Than Done, I Know)

Anxiety loves to drag you into the past and throw you into the future. Mindfulness helped me remember that I was okay right now. Even just taking a few deep breaths while folding laundry or walking helped anchor me.

Calming Activities

My list included:

Watching old reruns of The Office or Boston Legal
Walking barefoot on grass
Breathing exercises
Colouring books (seriously, try it!)
Playing with my dogs

Find your version of calm. No judgment.

Look at Physical Health

Skipping meals made everything worse. Caffeine didn’t help either. I started eating more consistently and moving my body, not to get fit, just to feel better. Even stretching in bed in the morning helped.

Clear the Clutter

Visual chaos = mental chaos. Ten minutes of tidying made a huge difference. I literally created a “mental health corner” with fairy lights and soft blankets. It was my sanctuary.

Take Action on the Small Stuff

Sometimes anxiety made me freeze. So I made a list of 2-minute tasks. Paying that bill. Sending that email. Calling the vet. Doing just one of them created a tiny shift that got me unstuck.

Coping with Change

I realised I had a strong fear of plans changing. I felt safe in predictability. If a change triggered me, I’d ask: What about this feels unsafe? and Is it really unsafe or just uncomfortable?

Find Time to Laugh

I underestimated this for years. Find a comedy skit to watch when you start spiralling. Laughter is medicine. It was a reset button for my nervous system.

Reflect on Past Anxiety

Some of the things I thought would destroy me? Didn’t even happen. Or they happened and I survived. Reflecting on that gave me strength. I also started visualising best-case scenarios, not just worst-case ones.

Look at Your Thoughts

I started noticing when I was jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst. I’d ask myself: What else might be true? What would I tell a friend feeling this way?

Understanding Anxiety: A Note

Anxiety isn’t just nerves or worry. Sometimes it’s a full-body shutdown. Sometimes it’s exhaustion, irritability, numbness. Sometimes it’s irrational panic over something as small as replying to a message.

As someone said brilliantly:

“We use the same word for mildly worrying about a job interview and being unable to leave the house. It’s like having one word for a tickle fight and a nuclear war.”

If You’re Struggling Right Now

You’re not alone. Please don’t bottle it up. Reach out to someone. Even me. I’ve been where you are, and it does get better.

The person I am today still has bad days, but I’m no longer drowning. I’m floating. Sometimes I even swim.

And that’s more than enough.

With love, Andi